Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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