Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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