she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
