dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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