He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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