The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
