problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
