I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
