ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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