My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
