He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
