Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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