her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well I just put wine in my tea
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
