My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
