Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
