I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
