'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
