i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
