Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
where are my eyebrows?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize