I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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