How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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