Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
