You're my little dorito
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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