Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
