Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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