dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
be right there i have to get my cape
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
