Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
