Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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