do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
