How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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