I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
