i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
