We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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