just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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