my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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