Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize