My first STD was from a foam party
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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