It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
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