y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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