3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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