I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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