Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
