I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
