Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
