How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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