You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
