The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
