he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
