i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I could make wine with my vomit
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
