i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
