I think im going to throw up on grandma
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
