it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Two words: blizzard sex
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
