If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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