so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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