Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
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