I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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