Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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