Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
His nipple licking is glorious
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