Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
