Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
