Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
