how can u be prego again
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
