I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
