You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.