Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  shaved balls and baby powder=awesome

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  (571): shaved balls and baby powder=awesome http://tfl.nu/ap4d
  Replies (11) Good night (1142) Bad night (505)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.

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  (303): I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move. http://tfl.nu/t85w
  Replies (17) Good night (2709) Bad night (610)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.

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  (505): My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut. http://tfl.nu/nzlu
  Replies (18) Good night (4339) Bad night (712)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"

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  (602): I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on" http://tfl.nu/nkzh
  Replies (17) Good night (734) Bad night (3275)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian

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  (902): i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian http://tfl.nu/10y7
  Replies (5) Good night (3616) Bad night (1139)
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  (585): View more from New York

  he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?

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  (585): he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is? http://tfl.nu/uyol
  Replies (10) Good night (4668) Bad night (956)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?

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  (716): I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle? http://tfl.nu/vxb0
  Replies (15) Good night (1089) Bad night (3459)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.

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  (250): Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team. http://tfl.nu/f49a
  Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (1578)
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  (760): View more from California

  I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore

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  (760): I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore http://tfl.nu/3q10
  Replies (7) Good night (619) Bad night (1423)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.

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  (618): I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low. http://tfl.nu/dyuf
  Replies (5) Good night (449) Bad night (1373)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i have an important question...can you drink in jail?

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  (412): i have an important question...can you drink in jail? http://tfl.nu/ntk5
  Replies (9) Good night (595) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know

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  (410): i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know http://tfl.nu/vpyl
  Replies (1) Good night (850) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.

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  (614): Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend. http://tfl.nu/4bsk
  Replies (5) Good night (377) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed

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  (704): it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed http://tfl.nu/73fn
  Replies (1) Good night (255) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.

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  (443): Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love. http://tfl.nu/kdvx
  Replies (2) Good night (468) Bad night (301)

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