I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
